A Song for Those Who are Missing a Loved One This Christmas

I have  found this song to be so true in what it speaks of, this is my first Christmas since my Father died and it is really hard to get into the spirit.  
I know grief knows no timeline and all loved ones who have died know what I am speaking of that there are moments when all you want is that loved one there and also times when grief overwhelms no matter how much time has passed.  

I hope and pray all who have lost a love one that you keep the happy memories and try to focus on them. I know it is hard, but I pray that we can all find the strength. I know I find myself filled with memories of Christmas with my Dad and the joy, these still bring tears to my eyes because I miss him so much. I have found allowing myself to cry and to talk about those memories to be cathartic. I don’t know if everyone who has lost someone, no matter how long it has been since the loss, wants to talk about that person, but I find I do. I want people to bring my Dad up and share a happy memory or story because that keeps his memory alive in all of us who knew and loved him.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas (or as merry as it can be), Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate this time of year. I hope everyone can find time to enjoy their friends, family, loved ones and even the spirit of the season.

 

I am Sorry for my Absence

I am so sorry I have not been posting or reading much as of late.  I had to be admitted to the hospital for nausea and vomiting that turned out to be Gastroparesis, which means my GI tract is not working right, you can read the Mayo Clinic information if you wish by clicking on the link.  I am told this is, most likely, a life long disorder and I will just have to rebuild my strength and just adapt my diet and lifestyle to this.  I’m definitely not happy about it, but I will accept it and do all I can to maintain as normal a life as possible.  I always joke that I get all the “pretty bracelets” while in the hospital due to all the alert bands they have to put after the ID band.

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All My “Pretty Bracelets”

I was so blessed to have friends, and family visit me while I was in-patient.  My niece even spoke to me on the phone once, which made me cry because I love her so much and missed her so much.  She asked me if I went to live with God like Grandpa (my Dad died in March), and I assured her I was just “with the doctor,” and that I loved and missed her so much.  She told me she loved and missed me too, this is from a two and a half year old, and she wanted me home soon!  The call made me cry afterwards because of the question and also because I missed her so much.  I live with my Mom and when my Dad died suddenly my Brother and his family moved in with us, so I am used to seeing her daily. I had my day brighten by visits from friends, I even got flowers, a card and and a balloon out of it as get well presents from a dear friend. He even called my Mom to ask what flowers I could have since I happen to allergic to most flowers on God’s green earth.

My Get Well Presents! 🙂

I look forward to catching up on all the blogs I follow, comment and write a few posts myself now that I am home. I have found not having Duluadid running through my veins on top of my normal mediations for my chronic pain and muscle spasms.  I can’t wait to get started.  It is still going to take time for me to rebuild my strength and I still tire easily so it will take a while.   I am getting there slowly, but surely.

I am the Mondern Day Warrior Princess

I wanted to let everyone get to know me a bit in my first post. I am a woman who, through a combination of choices and uncontrolable life events, has had to fight my way to become the woman I am today. I also love spending time with my brother’s children and family. *Note the baby in my arms is my niece, I sadly have not found a husband nor hand any children yet. I have my friends, family and God to thank for helping shape me into the person I am today.

My name on here is a combination of one of my favorite books and movie made from the book, “Sara Crewe”, which is the base for the book “A Little Princess,” and the movie. The movie has been made and remade multiple times and I like many of the movies. My Mom gave me her copy of Sara Crewe when I was young and I still have it sitting on my bookshelf today because I love the story so much. I like the book better than the movies, but the movies on their own are entertaining as well. In all of these the statement, though it might be slightly different depending on which you reference is “I am a princess. All girls are.” which is said by Sara Crewe.

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The second part of my name is about how I am a warrior princess, I like to think of my self in many ways a Self Saving Princess. It also comes from my childhood nickname Zelda that is from Legend Of Zelda that was originally released on the NES in 1986. I don’t think women are above chivalry, or should get upset if a kind man opens a door for us, but I believe that women are able to do so much more than has been expected from us in the past. I also am a warrior because I deal with several chronic medical issues that have left me disabled. I had a choice to give up or to keep pushing on and I chose the latter, I fight everyday to keep going and to surviving. I hope to someday find my prince and once that happens I will have another person to fight beside me and help lift me up when I stuggle.

I am blessed to have a family who loves me and supports me through all of my ups and downs I have gone through in my life thus far. I am also blessed to have friends who accept me for the person I am, not expecting me to conform to what they think I should be. I sadly have lost friends to expectations and others to their own inabliltiy to accept me for me, including my perspective and beliefs.

I have some post planned to raise awareness for medical syndromes and diseases I find to be woefully misunderstood and/or rarely known by the majority of people. I like to also write about debatable topics and love to hear rebuttals from others. In addition to these topics I hope to also write about things going on in my life with hopes to share the joy, pains and lessons of Faith that come along with me growing a woman and a person.

I hope to meet others through this blog to be friends and also people who enjoy discussing topics so that we might both learn and grow together.

I look forward to reading comments, learning and finding other blogs to expand my mind and spirit with as well.