I Make Pain Look Good.

This is a wonderful post that is about judging people and how much pain, disability or look sick and are chronically ill. I will try to get my own post about this up as soon as possible. Please read and please take care to second think judging someone on how they look.

Wear, Tear, & Care

Take a look at this person.

Because she's all about that bass. (Conceitedly copyrighted by J. W. Kain.) Because she’s all about that bass. (Conceitedly copyrighted by J. W. Kain.)

Take a real good look.

Then ask yourself: Is this person in pain?

She looks fine, you think. She doesn’t have a handicap placard on her car. She doesn’t walk with a cane. She isn’t wearing a brace.  You furrow your eyebrows, and then you think: She looks totally normal. 

The thing is that when this picture was taken, she was in a world of pain. She had three sort-of healed spinal fractures and a calcified nerve cluster. Even though she was smiling under the artful disguise of Microsoft Paint, she was hurting. She was wearing a back brace under that dress. She changed into flats as soon as that picture was taken. She found a place to sit down and close her eyes, trying to match her inhales and exhales to the thud-thud-thudding…

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A Song for Those Who are Missing a Loved One This Christmas

I have  found this song to be so true in what it speaks of, this is my first Christmas since my Father died and it is really hard to get into the spirit.  
I know grief knows no timeline and all loved ones who have died know what I am speaking of that there are moments when all you want is that loved one there and also times when grief overwhelms no matter how much time has passed.  

I hope and pray all who have lost a love one that you keep the happy memories and try to focus on them. I know it is hard, but I pray that we can all find the strength. I know I find myself filled with memories of Christmas with my Dad and the joy, these still bring tears to my eyes because I miss him so much. I have found allowing myself to cry and to talk about those memories to be cathartic. I don’t know if everyone who has lost someone, no matter how long it has been since the loss, wants to talk about that person, but I find I do. I want people to bring my Dad up and share a happy memory or story because that keeps his memory alive in all of us who knew and loved him.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas (or as merry as it can be), Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate this time of year. I hope everyone can find time to enjoy their friends, family, loved ones and even the spirit of the season.


“Finding Nemo” and My RSD/CRPS


I used to work a movie theater from age 16, I got the job on my 16th birthday thanks to my brother (who already worked there, and worked there till November of my Senior year when I left due to issues and the fact I wanted to enjoy my Senior year in high school.  One of the biggest movies we had before I left was Finding Nemo, which I screened each copy of it we had before the release date (standard practice) and now have some of the lines stuck in my head forever. 

Two weeks before my graduation, shortly after I had turned 18 I had my car accident that lead caused my RSD/CRPS.  It was 4months after the car accident when I was going to physical therapy (or pain and torture as I jokingly call it) and on what was then a potent mix of pain meds and muscle relaxers that made me a wee bit out of it.  My Mom asked to stop at a Bed, Bath and Beyond and I said it fine, I was done with my PT for the week and it was on the way home.  I took my next dose of meds a little, like 30mins early, due to the pain I was in.  It  didn’t take long to kick in and made me more than a wee bit out of it.

I found one of the microfiber, micro-bead filled pillows and asked my Mom to by it for me, she said yes.  I spent the rest of the time in the store walking around stroking and playing with 1 of the pillows my Mom picked out saying, “I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and I shall be my Squishy. He_shall_be_my_squishy.PNG  Needless to say many people were stareing at the crazy lady walking with my Mom and wispering because she decided to check out and head home since then I, heck my whole family does too now, call those types of pillows “Squishies,” and my Mom “teases” me by singing Just Keep Swimming when I am having a tough day, but only to see me smile. I hated Finding Nemo because it was one of the last popular *kids* movie the staff and I had to clean the “technicolor yawns” and messy (which is a special kind of messy only sugared up kids can create) theaters we had to clean when the movie was over, it was a love/hate relationship with the movie. Now my squishies and the quotes bring a smile to face and wonderful memories of my Father who died in March of this year. 

That is why Finding Nemo and my RSD/CRPS are connected so much in my mind and quoted often by me now.

What, if any, quote do you strongly associate with something in your life and why?