Don’t Forget The Mothers of Angels on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day to Mom's who let angels hold their babies until they can

Mother’s Day is coming up very soon and I want to remind everyone that not all mothers are the same.  Some mothers have children you can see, others are mothers of angels (mothers who lost their children during their pregnancy, had a still born child or lost a child very young) and there are mothers of living children and angels as well.  Some women who fit in the last category had an early loss then later was had a living child, which is sometimes called a rainbow child, because they were born after the sadness of loss.

 
I am a mother of angels and have not had the blessing of carrying a child full term, or even into the second trimester. Multiples are common on both sides of my family, I ended up getting pregnant the first time with quintuplets (yes, five children.)  I have had other pregnancies that were twins and I have even had single pregnancies, none of these children made it past the first term and another time I will share some of the experiences I had another time.

Please, this Mother’s Day remember those you know who are Mothers of Angels, who lost their pregnancy, infant or child on Mother’s Day.  You know your friend or family member best and know what they may want on that day.  Many Mothers of Angels feel hurt because we are not acknowledged on Mother’s Day, if it was recent just spending time with the woman (or couple) talking and allowing her to guide the conversation if she wants to be around others.   If you were told of the pregnancy and/or loss, no matter the length of time it has been since the loss, grief never goes away it just lessens in intensity unless something triggers it and intensifys the grief like Mother’s Day or the day of loss, each woman is diffrent in triggers. Sometimes just being there is enough, sometimes, it helps to just say you are thinking of/praying for her, and sometimes including such women in meals out in honor of Mother’s Day can help.  

My Babies are Miracles I know personally it is very difficult for me to deal with Mother’s Day, I am reminded of the lives I carried.  In my old church mothers were given a rose on Mother’s Day, I was left out since I felt uncomfortable standing up.  I had no children in the nursery.  I was also uncomfortable due to the circumstances that lead to my pregnancies since I have never been married.  My first pregnancy I felt so much guilt due to the fact I was unmarried, I still loved the children.  The father left me because I refused to marry him just because I was pregnant, this relationship lasted a long time and had many difficulties before and after the pregnancy and in the end we didn’t work out.  I am not trying to start a dialoge about the circumstances of how my children were conceived or the fact I decided to contiune the pregnancies.  I only wish to inform and remind everyone about how difficult Mother’s Day can be to a woman who has lost a child at any age and any stage.

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers this Sunday.  I wish all Mothers a day of happy memories, loved ones and comfort.

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Father's Day for all father's of angelsP.S. Since Father’s Day is coming up and I hope that the men who are Fathers to children, angel(s) or both should also be remembered if you knew of the loss.  Men tend to react to a loss differently than women, but it does not mean they do not feel grief or sadness on Father’s Day.  I will not be writing a blog about it since I don’t have a very good experience with the men who fathered my children and cannot speak for other more caring men or married men who were invested in the pregnancy.  Please also keep these men in your thoughts and prayers on Father’s Day.  Please also if you feel he is struggling, sad or grieving from a recent or past loss(es) in an activity or just let him know you are there for him in whatever capacity he may need you.

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8 thoughts on “Don’t Forget The Mothers of Angels on Mother’s Day

  1. I so hope that your story raises the awareness of others on Mother’s Day. Losing a child at any stage of its life is losing a child. The pain that so many people feel on Mother’s Day because they have lost their own Mum or child is made so much harder by the constant reminders we see to “celebrate” this day. This link may interest you on the actual founding of Mother’s Day. The commercializing of it is so hard for so many. I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you take comfort in knowing that there are so many people that know Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year for some.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother's_Day

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the kindness and understanding. I also did find the link interesting, I agree that Mother’s Day is one of many holidays that has become very commercialized. This year my gift to my Mom is just a movie night and doing a few things she wants to do this year. I think the gift of time and/or just doing something the person wants is the best gift. If desired the gift of flowers, jewelry, or other material things are nice, but not necessary. Thank you again for your kindness and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are still a Mother, your children just have a different residence – Heaven. And I have hope that God will bless you immensely in the future. ❤ Love and hugs to you as you remember them tomorrow and spend the day with your own wonderful mother. She sounds so amazing, how much she sacrificed and worked so hard for you & your family.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Dragonfly, your kindness and comment mean so much to me. I like to think of quote I found on a miscarriage site that said, “Your child is with the best babysitter in the world -God.” I do take some solace in knowing that they are in Heaven and never had to deal with this world that has sin, hate, fear and pain. They only knew the great love that I and God had for them before they went to Heaven.
      Now I also take comfort in the thought that my children are with their Grandpa and someday when I am called Home I will be with all of my children, family and loved ones who are there. This life will be but a blink in time compared to the eternity in Heaven with God. I will do my best to enjoy tomorrow with my amazing Mom, I am blessed that she understands that it is a hard day for me. I will be praying for my paternal grandma since tomorrow will be a reminder that her son, my Dad, went to Heaven before her. I forgot to include that in my blog, but anytime a Mother outlives her child it is difficult.
      I hope and pray you have a wonderful and blessed day tomorrow with your your beautiful children and family.
      As always you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
      -Andrea

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your sweet spirit shines through your words. I’m so sorry for your losses. You shed light on a day that can be challenging to many. Like you, I believe time spent with someone is the greatest gift of all. I never want to take for granted that I can always do later what God prompts me to do now.
    I pray God’s grace, peace and comfort for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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