I Make Pain Look Good.

This is a wonderful post that is about judging people and how much pain, disability or look sick and are chronically ill. I will try to get my own post about this up as soon as possible. Please read and please take care to second think judging someone on how they look.

Wear, Tear, & Care

Take a look at this person.

Because she's all about that bass. (Conceitedly copyrighted by J. W. Kain.) Because she’s all about that bass. (Conceitedly copyrighted by J. W. Kain.)

Take a real good look.

Then ask yourself: Is this person in pain?

She looks fine, you think. She doesn’t have a handicap placard on her car. She doesn’t walk with a cane. She isn’t wearing a brace.  You furrow your eyebrows, and then you think: She looks totally normal. 

The thing is that when this picture was taken, she was in a world of pain. She had three sort-of healed spinal fractures and a calcified nerve cluster. Even though she was smiling under the artful disguise of Microsoft Paint, she was hurting. She was wearing a back brace under that dress. She changed into flats as soon as that picture was taken. She found a place to sit down and close her eyes, trying to match her inhales and exhales to the thud-thud-thudding…

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8 thoughts on “I Make Pain Look Good.

  1. “She changed into flats as soon as that picture was taken. ”

    Why didn’t she wear them for the picture?

    High heeled shoes are one of the worst, sexist, misogynistic, anti-woman, anti-human, anti-health, anti-life things ever to be invented and women need to stop wearing them and proudly rock bare feet or shoes designed according to the natural curve of the human foot!!!!

    Read this;


    • Hello again Mad Yale Grad,
      I think again you have missed the entire point of the post and have fixated on one idea or statement in a post. Did you read the entire post or the preface to that I wrote?

      The post is not about what shoes she wore for a picture, it is about judging people who appear healthy who are parking in a handicap spot. It is about understanding that behind a normal looking appearance there can be an invisible illness/disability (for more information on invisible illnesses/disabilities please go to http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com or google the term) that is the reason the person is parking in a handicap spot.

      This is the whole point of the post. I know that prior to me needing a handicap spot that I was one of those people who sometimes judged others about such things. I have experienced such treatment myself now. I have had cruel letters and notes left on my windshield, people call the cops after blocking me in for “stealing” a parking permit only for them to get in trouble because it is mine. I have people yell at me and be unbelievably cruel with their words because I, most of the time, looked fine. I know have to sometimes use anything from a cane to needing a scooter brought to me since I have not been able to get a wheelchair yet.

      I hope you will reread the post and my introduction about it and comment on the real reason behind the post.

      Also just because someone is in so much pain that you may not be able to understand their choice in shoes or any other choice, but there is always a reason from the person to make the choice.


      • Mad Yale Grad,

        Yes, she chose to wear heeled shoes for the picture and then changed into flats. I don’t know how long she wore her heeled shoes for before she changed, but I’m pretty sure that she did it to feel beautiful and feminine. When someone has an invisible illness/disability they then lose many things, from being able to wear what they want to limited energy and ability to participate in activities they perviously enjoyed.

        It doesn’t matter if she only wore them for a short amount of time, she wore them for a period of time and planned ahead so she had flats so she could enjoy the event longer despite the pain she would still feel in heeled shoes or flats. It is great that she is able to get out and enjoy socialization in person. I’m certain she looked beautiful in heeled shoes and in flats.

        I urge you again to read the entire article, it is not about the heeled shoes, it is about living with a chronic invisible disease or disability and the judgement others make about such people.

        I read all the parts of the blog you shared in your comment and it is interesting (unrelated to the blog I shared or the topic at hand but I doubt that matters to you) and in my opinion it is inaccurate. Heeled shoes, while not healthy to wear everyday, is not the same as the cruel and painful practice of foot binding.

        I have multiple invisible illnesses and disabilities and at times I still wear heeled shoes despite the pain they cause me, the heels are low and only worn when necessary. I wore them for my brother’s wedding ceremony and then changed into flats directly afterward for the reception. Yes, it was very painful to wear them, but worth it for my brother and since I was Maid of Honor.

        I hope that maybe you can see past the one sentence and see the actual reason the blog was shared and comment on that or at least attempt to read the entire blog and understand what it is about.


    • Mad Yale Grad I also am wondering if you are a man or a woman since you are so passionate about such items on my blog and a friend of mine’s blog. I understand if you do not wish to answer, but I wonder still the same since these topics can represent different things for men and women.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t figure out Mad Yale Grad either… I think he/she also goes by “myg” on other sites as well… and has seemed to really dislike my online blog and overall “persona.” Hopefully they aren’t still bothering you. I think I managed to somehow offend them enough to where they haven’t commented on my blog now for weeks. Which is good since they never seemed interested in any kind of real discussion and were purely antagonistic to all of my posts or questions.

        Liked by 1 person

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